I remember the first time a yoga teacher shared in class that we have a choice in how we ‘show up’ in the world. At first, I had no idea what she was talking about. It just didn’t click with me. But as I started to practice more and dive deeper into the eight limbs of yoga I started to understand what she was suggesting.

What does ‘show up’ mean?

Based on my personal experience and understanding, it’s saying that you have a right to choose how you interact with your external and internal environments. What do I mean by that? Well, you can consciously choose how you move throughout your days by getting really clear on who you are as an individual, what your greatest desires are, and the kind of experience you want to create for yourself that is not dictated by anyone else but you. You can take ‘control’ of your life (I use the word control loosely). You can take responsibility for your actions and inactions, for your thoughts and feelings, for your well-being, for your future, and for your legacy. That sounds pretty awesome, right?!?

It’s not going to be easy either.

Many times we skip over the hard work just to put a bandaid on something. In the end, you’ll be right back where you started — desiring change. Here’s an example of what I mean based on my personal experience (this might seem extreme but it’s a true story):

Your spouse or partner drinks multiple drinks every night of the week. They’ve been drinking like this for years and it’s negatively impacted your relationship. You’ve expressed your concern and desire for them to reduce or completely stop drinking to no avail. Even though there have been multiple occasions or wake-up calls asking him to make a change (wrecking his car more than once while driving drunk) — he’s unable to witness them as such. In the end, he’s not willing to seek help, and you can’t make him. You recognize that only your partner can take responsibility for his actions and choices. He will have to be at a tipping point or worse (possibly injure someone or himself) before he’s willing to make a drastic change.

What do you do? You could stay and remain in an unhappy marriage with an alcoholic until something bad happens or you could leave. I chose to leave. It was the second hardest thing I’ve ever done (first was choosing to live child-free), and I’m so glad I finally made that choice after years of waffling back and forth. It wasn’t easy but it was the best option available to me at the time.

Consciously choosing a different path: to walk away from an unhappy situation, to be a better person, to lean into your happiness, is the first step in choosing to no longer operating on autopilot — to show up for your life.

How do you take responsibility for your life?

Taking responsibility for how you show up in the world is a lifelong task of turning your focus inward, exploring what is there, choosing what you keep for yourself and what you release, and deciding how you want to move forward. It takes digging deep into the dark crevices we all try to ignore because of the shame we feel, the fear of the unknown, and our dislike for what is unpleasurable. We avoid all of this because we don’t have the tools necessary to do the work, our work.

Yoga gives us those tools. The practice of yoga — all eight limbs of yoga — invites you to choose who you want to be when you grow up. Maybe you want to be a cruise director, an architect, an artist, or an unapologetic you. Have I piqued your interest in living more courageously as only you can?

If you’re nodding your head yes in agreement, grab a copy of my latest book, Love Thyself, First + Always, which offers methods for living more freely as your authentic self. And when you sign up for my newsletter you’ll receive five additional resources to support you along your self-discovery journey.