Here are seven inspirational lessons I learned from practicing and teaching yoga for over five years.

1) You always have a right to choose for yourself.

“A friend of mine has a tattoo on his arm that says, “Even if.” When I asked him what it meant, he told me that even if he ‘should’ do something or even if he ‘could’ do something, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he ‘wants to’ do whatever is being asked of him.

How often do you say yes to something when you really meant to say no? How often do you give in to peer pressure or perceived expectations even though you don’t want to? “Even if ” is a great reminder to hit pause and think to yourself, “Do I want to do this? Do I want to go to the party? Do I want to sacrifice my alone time?”

Those are just a couple of examples, but next time someone asks you to do something, give it a try. Take time to answer. You might just be pleasantly surprised by your conscious choice and response. And remember that saying no means being ok with occasionally disappointing the other person. (If you’re a people-pleaser, not wanting to disappoint others will be very challenging for you to overcome.) Understand that you can’t please everyone all the time, so you might as well please yourself first.”

Source: An excerpt from my book, “Love Thyself, First + Always.”

2) The inputs we absorb influence our energy.

We’re taking in information all of the time. Our minds filter that information and file it away for safekeeping or disposal. This happens through our senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, and awareness (or proprioception). The quality of the information we take in impacts our subtle body energy.

What do I mean by that? Well, if we listen to high-intensity, upbeat music all of the time, we tend to embody that energy. The opposite of that would be super mellow music, which tends to show up as a chill vibe. So, what’s your vibe?

Like attracts like. This means if you are high-energy, you’re attracted to high-energy activities and external influences. And if you’re feeling stressed out, that high-energy music is just keeping you amped up. Instead, seek out the opposite — embrace the chill. Check out this playlist the next time you need to take it slow.

3) There’s a lot of noise out there and in here.

Yoga and meditation teach us many things about ourselves on and off the mat and cushion. Thankfully, many teachers encourage us to get curious about the thoughts and feelings rolling around in our minds and hearts while also being kind to ourselves. I think that for many of us it’s not until we find our way to yoga or meditation that we use mindfulness to tune into our inner worlds and notice what is there.

I invite you to use this meditation to do just that — explore your thoughts and feelings.

4) Turning inward encourages deep listening.

Yoga gives us the tools we need to listen deeply — to ourselves and to those around us. When we cultivate mindfulness on our mat by tuning in to the subtle cues we’re receiving from our body, mind, and soul, we’re creating opportunities to acknowledge what bubbles up to the surface with more acceptance. Acceptance of self translates to acceptance of others.

Because when I look in the mirror and embrace all of my quirks, mistakes, and stories with an open heart and an open mind, well then, I am more likely to do the same for my neighbor, a complete stranger, or my estranged uncle. And the best part is when we do this we’re setting an example for others and encouraging them to do the same for themselves if/when they’re so willing. Think of it as a domino effect. It’s a win-win for everyone involved.

5) Honoring your body equals embracing where you are today.

I remember exactly where I was and who was around me the first time I heard this memorable phrase. It was a chilly March morning. The beautiful blue sky above was full of clouds, and it was very breezy. I was with two of my good friends — my soul sisters or, as we call ourselves ‘goddesses.’ We were sitting on our yoga mats in a city park in Charlotte, North Carolina, surrounded by hundreds of other yogis. We were all listening to a guided meditation and the speaker shared with us the phrase, “Today, it’s like this.”

What comes to mind when you hear that phrase? What is it asking you to do? I believe this simple phrase or mantra gives you permission to accept yourself and your situation as they are right now. It doesn’t ask you to give up on striving towards something. It doesn’t ask you to verbally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically beat yourself or anyone else up over something that was done or not done. It’s asking you to give yourself some grace. It’s asking you to be kind and gentle with yourself, first, and then extend that same compassion to those around you.

6) There is an ever-present calm available within each of us.

Before practicing yoga, I never knew that we have the ability to self-soothe. It’s not something we are taught, at least it wasn’t taught when I was growing up in the 80s. Thankfully, now it’s becoming more common to teach children how to shape-shift their breath to create a sense of calm from the inside out. Adults can learn too at any age.

It starts with your breath — a powerful tool for soothing away the wrinkles and ripples caused by stress. And it’s something that you can do pretty much anywhere. The beauty of cultivating a pranayama or breathing practice on or off of the mat is that you can use it as a tool when you feel anxious or you’re unable to focus. By doing so, you’re telling your body-mind that everything is ok, which allows your autonomic nervous system to chill out, rest, and heal.

7) Yoga is so much more than a physical practice.

It’s perfectly normal for people to find their way onto a yoga mat by taking a 60-minute hot vinyasa flow class (or any other yoga class that appeals to them) that serves as their workout for the day. It’s once they get hooked that they realize there’s more to yoga than the physical practice we’re all too familiar with.

There are days when you’ll arrive on your mat and all you’re craving is to crank out a shit-ton of chaturanga dandasanas. On other days, all you want to do is chill in a fully supported savasana. The physical practice of yoga serves both ends of the spectrum — active or passive, doing or being — and all of the space in between. Again, you get to choose what will serve you best right now. Just know that if you’re focused solely on the physical practice and make your way to your mat consistently that eventually, the ‘being’ part of the eight-limbed path will start to creep in. It’s subtle and yet such a beautiful experience when things start to shift for you. It might look like this:

• Talking calmly to someone who you previously couldn’t talk to without blowing up

• Letting the person who was tailgating you do so without stomping on your breaks or flipping them off when they fly past you on the highway

• Clearly articulating your thoughts and feelings from a place of truth that serves your needs and desires at that moment

• Forgiving yourself or someone else for the latest blunder or mistake

• You’ve re/ignited a connection with yourself that dives below the surface of societal demands and into the depths of who you truly are as a person

It’s gradual and it can’t be forced. It’s something that just happens. Let it!

At the end of the day, we each have the right to choose how we want to spend our time on the mat.

Journaling Prompts

Now, it’s your turn. Take some time to ponder these journaling prompts and jot down anything that resonates with you.

1. What brings you to your mat each time?

2. What have you learned about yourself while on your yoga mat?

3. How has your practice made a positive impact on your choices in life?

4. What has bubbled to the surface recently that you’d like to shift, modify, or change?

Cover image by Miguel Chalmers https://www.luxeboudoirphotography.com/