Michelle Cawley

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What arises within you while on your mat?

Yoga is one tool we can use to connect with ourselves on a deeper level.

When I’m on my mat and I’ve taken the necessary time to tune into my body, I’m free to explore the space in between my edges; to get curious about what bubbles up there; to witness and examine the uncomfortable, the unseen; and to make weird shapes with Sanskrit names that I may or may not be able to pronounce correctly, but I try.

Some days the movement is fluid, like water — It moves effortlessly through me. Other days it feels disjointed and forced. Some days what I was once able to achieve (like an arm balance or shoulder stand) is now not available in my body. If I’m listening closely and remaining tuned in to the subtle sensations from my body and the thoughts swirling in my mind, I’m able to notice what is there.

  • I notice how the ego speaks louder than the heart. I notice how it tells me that bigger is better, and more is more impressive. Do I listen? Sometimes, and sometimes not. Ideally, I disregard the demanding yammering on from my self-indulgent ego, and instead, honor how my body feels that day.

  • I observe how some days I want to push through the stillness just to keep moving. I anticipate a teacher’s cues to get to the next pose. I do this off the mat too, eager to get to the next thing. To check things off my to-do list. To do more.

  • I witness the negative thoughts about my body image: the cellulite hiding underneath my yoga leggings, or the folds my skin makes when in a side bend, or how those pesky flaps of skin between my breasts and shoulders are always there. And then, I remind myself that I am beautiful no matter what my overly-critical small self says at times.

  • I pay attention to how my body feels while resting in savasana, and how my mind still wanders. Recognizing I need more movement to get me into quiet stillness is a reminder to exert energy daily.

What is it about the physical practice of yoga or asana that you enjoy most?

Maybe making shapes with your body is a form of self-expression or offers opportunities for self-reflection. Maybe it’s the only time in the day you have by yourself. Maybe you used to be a dancer and still crave finding balance between effort and ease, between movement and stillness. Maybe you have no idea what brought you to the mat, but one thing you know is you feel better afterward (less stress and anxiety).

What do you notice about yourself while on your mat today?

What we witness on the mat about ourselves transfers off the mat and out into the world. Grab your journal and take a few moments to answer these questions:

  • What insights do you notice?

  • What inner whisperings do you hear?

  • What secrets is your heart telling you?

  • What does your ego tell you on the loudspeaker, repeatedly?

  • And, what do you choose to do with that information, if anything?

Listening to what arises within you is a great way to foster self-awareness or self-study. Now, keep it going by journaling what comes up for you after each practice.

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