How to Navigate Life's Obstacles (Part I)
Photo by Andrea De Santis on Unsplash
Welcome to Part I of this blog post series. In today’s post, we’ll talk through how many of us view life’s challenges — as obstacles that we have to overcome — and how shifting our perspective can create positive change in our lives for the long term. Let’s get started!
How do you perceive roadblocks, obstacles, and detours?
Do you throw your hands up in the air in frustration? Do you get angry? Do you cry, maybe endlessly? Do you blame them on others? Do you wish that you could crawl under a rock? Do you avoid them? Or do you run away?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, I promise you there’s a better way. Hear me out.
We are always learning whether we realize it or not.
I believe that every single interaction and every single experience that we have offers us lessons. Unfortunately, the majority of us don't see them. We don't pick up on the cues the Universe is showing us.
Instead, we believe the roadblocks being put in our path are just that — roadblocks. We don’t witness them as lessons or opportunities for self-reflection or personal growth. We see them as something that we have to tackle or overcome. As a result, we might disregard or ignore the lessons being offered to us. And they keep showing up 🤦♀️ Why do we do this?
We do this because:
We don’t have the tools to respond versus react
We believe life’s curveballs are happening to us, not for us
We’re unable to establish emotional equanimity
We don’t have the capacity to embrace ourselves or others with acceptance and compassion
We aren’t willing to put in the time and effort to uncover the root cause
We’re too busy hiding behind the walls we’ve built to protect our ego
We’re unwilling to take responsibility for our actions (oh man, that’s a big one!)
Another big one is — the obstacles put in our path don't offer up what we were hoping for
If any of this is resonating with you or possibly making you feel uncomfortable (squirm in your seat), then I urge you to keep reading.
A moment for self-reflection.
Take a minute to ponder these questions:
On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being major obstacles and 10 being opportunities to create change, how do you view life’s curveballs?
On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being not interested and 10 being definitely interested, how interested are you in learning how to view life’s detours as valuable lessons?
Grab your journal and jot down your answers.
The Lessons
The lessons being offered to you could be new ones. They could be on repeat from prior years or months. There could be lessons that your ancestors have not dealt with, and it's up to you to figure out how to resolve them and move forward. Also, they come in different shapes and sizes, just like us. And they cover every topic under the sun in different areas of our life (e.g., family, self-esteem, willpower, relationships, prosperity, or resources).
In my book, Love Thyself, First + Always: Methods for Living More Freely as Your Authentic Self, I mentioned how I struggle in my romantic partnerships. I have the tendency to give away my resources freely, especially money.
Here’s what I mean:
A few years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who didn’t have a steady income. Therefore, I funded all of our adventures. I even gave him two thousand dollars after we broke up because he had received an eviction notice for not paying his rent on time.
This was the second romantic relationship where I gave away my financial resources without setting boundaries and sticking to them. Since then I’ve been sorting through why I allowed this to happen. Here’s where I landed:
After quite a bit of soul searching, I realized that I am so eager to be in love and feel loved that I don’t set boundaries for myself or those I’m in partnership with.
Moving forward, I vowed to myself to:
Never fund a relationship ever again
Establish and maintain clear boundaries for myself and my partner
Never self-sacrifice my worth for the love of another
That last one is so important! Those are three very valuable insights or guiding principles for how I will approach romantic partnerships in the future. Before becoming a yoga teacher, I would have kept making the same mistakes over and over again but expecting different results. Does that sound familiar? Instead, I used yoga and meditation as well as conversations with my amazing circle of girlfriends to help me realize the lessons and determine what to do differently next time.
Do you see how powerful observing life’s mistakes as lessons can be?
Photo by Jonas Thijs on Unsplash
Here’s what’s possible when you view curveballs as lessons.
Through personal experience, I’ve learned that when we approach obstacles in our way with curiosity and compassion, we give ourselves permission to embrace our mistakes, examine what we could do differently, and then choose our next step forward with confidence. When we move in this way, we shift our perspective, we become like sponges, we soak up the lessons, we adjust our lifestyle, and we make informed choices based on what we've learned. And as I've mentioned before, there's always an ebb and flow between these two distinct points (action < > inaction or taking responsibility < > letting life rule you). Ultimately, we get to choose how we engage with the detours and the mishaps.
But first, we have to stop resisting the lessons. Because, when we resist, it creates unnecessary friction against what the Universe is offering us. Instead, start embracing the mistakes or hurdles with an open mind and curiosity. Take time to excavate, examine, and evaluate what’s happening before taking another step.
When we slow down enough to observe the source of our suffering and determine for ourselves how we want to respond, we show up more authentically and courageously. Another reason to leverage the insights gained from your experiences is that they're urging you in a direction created by the Universe. So, stop putting on the breaks. Trust what’s unfolding right in front of you.
Another point to pause and consider.
Take a moment to ponder the following:
What do you do with the information that you receive on a daily basis? Do you act on it? Do you consciously make adjustments based on what you're hearing, observing, feeling, and thinking? Or do you just stick with the status quo and keep shuffling forward? Yet you keep making the same mistakes but expecting different results. And you’re not any closer to achieving what it is that you are seeking.
Jot down your thoughts and set them aside.
We’re always adapting and adjusting to our environment and the information we’re receiving. Every obstacle placed in your way is an opportunity to test and learn and see what works best for you today.
In next week’s post, I’ll share the tools I use to shift my perspective on life’s challenges to be learning opportunities. So, check back then or subscribe to my YouTube Channel to be alerted when the video drops.